Tequila

A man  walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on  the counter, and sees  that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.   He guesses there must be at least  ten thousand dollars in it. He  approaches the bartender and asks,
"What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well...,  you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."

The man  certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he  asks,  "What are the three tests?"

 

"You gotta  pay first,"  says the bartender, "those are  the rules."

So, after  thinking it over a while, the man gives the  bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar. 

"Okay,"  says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First  -  You have to drink a whole quart of  tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you  can't make a face while doing it."

 

"Second -  There's a pit bull chained in the back with a  bad tooth.
You have to remove that tooth  with your bare hands."

 

"Third -  There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never  had sex.
You have to take care of that  problem."

 

The man is  stunned!  "I know I paid my $10  --  but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it!   You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of  tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your  call," says the  bartender, "but, your  money stays where it is." 

 

As time  goes on, the man has a few more drinks and  finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs  the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast  as he can. Tears  stream down both cheeks --but he doesn't make a  face -- and he drinks it in 58  seconds!
 

Next, he  staggers out the back door where he sees the pit  bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming,  and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing  but silence!

 

Just when  they think that the man surely must be dead, he  staggers back into the bar.  His clothes  are ripped to shreds and  he's bleeding  from bites and gashes all over his  body. 

He drunkenly says, "Now....,  where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

From an email sent by  Dan Ciria Cruz